Catnapped, Part 3

JANE: My political beliefs aren't the responsibility of sinister "voices in my head."

JANE: And my election to the presidency wasn't some plot by Strider.

JANE: He managed my campaign, yes, but...

JANE: He only ever wanted me to be happy and successful...

JANE: (Sniff.)

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Wait, are you crying?

JANE: (Sob!)

JANE: Are you going to mock me for this, as well?

JANE: Missing my friends?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Mrow!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I wouldn't dream of it, catnip.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I get it, you're defensive. You're a fighter.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: The heart of a warrior beats like a drum in your ample bosom!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Maybe even without my alternate-universe half-ectofather pulling the strings for you, you'd win in a landslide.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: But that election wasn't fair. You won with less votes than your opponent!

JANE: That used to happen in presidential elections all the time in Am–

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Hiss!!!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: If you start talking about America again, I will drop you right on the floor.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: You made a new world to shape and knead with your very own paws!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: It doesn't have to be the same as the old.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: If you want to run that planet, you have to win it fair and square.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: No Prince. No gerrymandering. No superpacs. No snipers in high towers.

JANE: Even *if* I agreed, my opponent is gone.

JANE: Poof!

JANE: How could we do over an election with no one running against me?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: You let me worry about that, Crocker.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I'm clawing up with an opponent for you as we speak.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: But enough politics. You're a great dancer. >;3c

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Don't mind me, just scurrying by!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I hope you two lovely ladies are enjoying your honeymoon. Don't overindulge!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Hey toots.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: How's the evening going for my favorite himbo?

JAKE: Favorite what now?

JAKE: Its quite loud in here and i think i must have misheard you.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Never mind.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: You look drunker than you were when you first dragged yourself in through my kitty door, and that's saying something.

JAKE: Oh well that bartender makes a mean gin fizz.

JAKE: And i cant say no to an expert mixologist after all!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: The Flinty Glasswipe?

JAKE: Im sorry what did you call me?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: That's the bartender's name.

JAKE: Oh of course.

JAKE: How is it going with ol janey?

JAKE: I hope youre being a bit nicer with her.

JAKE: Shes got a good heart you know.

JAKE: I think shes just a bit tired of being discounted and cant abide being bossed around!

JAKE: I dont get it myself. Id love having the kind of help she has getting through her day.

JAKE: A bunch of business types and organizers with clipboards keeping track of everything she has to do.

JAKE: Why it almost makes you think anyone could be president with a team like that!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Funny you should say that.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Jane and I have just agreed to redo the election more fairly.

JAKE: Wow thats awfully magnanimous of her!

SWIFER: Oh, howdy there, ma'am!

SWIFER: We were just talking about you.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Murr-wow! I do love to be known.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: You were saying nice things about me, I hope.

SWIFER: Quite skippily! Except for the part where my moirail called me a "big gay slut," haha.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Well, are you?

SWIFER: !

CLIPER: ⁂loll⁂

SWIFER: Um, well.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I'm just kitten. How's the party treating you both?

SWIFER: Good! Good. This place is the bee's knees, but, well...

CLIPER: ⁂we got invited to a political meetinn⁂

CLIPER: ⁂at some point wed like to get things done⁂

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Oh, don't worry about that. I've already got Purresident Crocker to agree to a new, fair election.

SWIFER: Holy toledo! You did?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: In purrinciple, yes.

SWIFER: But wait...

SWIFER: Mister Vantas is gone with Mx Lalonde, Mister Strider, Miss Harley and uh...someone else I forget?

SWIFER: Who will run against Miss Crocker?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Well, think about what the voters would want to really oppose a god. You want someone down-to-earth, from the working class.

SWIFER: Right...

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Someone already compurrting themselves well in the public arena.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: (Now that I've got the political future of the planet sorted out, I can get back to my masterclass seduction attempt.)

JASPROSESPRITE^2: (But first, I'll purr out the window thoughtfully...)

JASPROSESPRITE^2: (Really sell Jane on my intellectual broodiness.)

JASPROSESPRITE^2: (Wait...is that...)

JASPROSESPRITE^2: OWO

JASPROSESPRITE^2: What's this?

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    • JAKE: Your kittenish charm is working wonders on her id say.

    JAKE: You know i always thought you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and you seem to be proving that catnip catches the most of all!

    JASPROSESPRITE^2: Jake, I really appreciate your continued dedication to utilizing feline terminology when talking with me.

    JASPROSESPRITE^2: It really makes me feel respected as the unique part-cat part-girl part-stuffed wizard creature I am.

    JAKE: Well of course thats what friends are for after all!

    JAKE: Youre being awfully nice to me all of a sudden though.

    JAKE: If this is about the upcoming electoral redo 2 electric boogaloo...

    JASPROSESPRITE^2: No need to be nervous! There won't be any squabbling and begging for your endorsement this time.

    JAKE: Oh thank goodness.

    JAKE: I couldnt handle being fought over like a piece of meat.

    JAKE: What did you have in mind instead?

    JASPROSESPRITE^2: You running, of course. :3

    JAKE: (Gulp!)

    JAKE: Oh.

    JAKE: Oh no thank you.

    JAKE: Oh absolutely no thank you very much.

    JAKE: Oh dear lordy no.

    JASPROSESPRITE^2: Okay, okay! I'll back off.

    JAKE: (Whew.)

    JASPROSESPRITE^2: I've got a few more couches to sink my claws into, anyway.

    JASPROSESPRITE^2: Flinty! Get this man another drink!

    CLIPER: ⁂oh i see where youre going with this⁂

    SWIFER: (What?)

    JASPROSESPRITE^2: Someone to match her good looks, too! ;3c

    SWIFER: Where are we going to find someone like that?

    CLIPER: ⁂cmonn swif⁂

    CLIPER: ⁂shes obviously talkinn about you⁂

    SWIFER: WHAT?

    JASPROSESPRITE^2: Think it over. I like the sound of President...uh....

    JASPROSESPRITE^2: President Swifer.

    JASPROSESPRITE^2: Take the night and talk it over! Toodle-oo!

    1. Jasprosesprite^2: Look outside the window.
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