==>

DAVE: even if one of those people is jane

KARKAT: OH GOD.

KARKAT: DON'T REMIND ME.

DAVE: dude you werent even there for breakfast last week when she interrupted kanaya cause she made a joke about dirk

KARKAT: UGH, *OF COURSE* SHE DID. EVERY ARGUMENT SHE JUST STARTS FILIBUSTERING WITH CHILDHOOD REGALING.

KARKAT: "HE WAS A CHILD," OK AND? SPACE IS COLD AND PRIMATES LIKE TO FLING THEIR OWN FECES. THESE ARE ALL FACTS WE KNOW AND NONE OF THEM ARE PARTICULARLY INTERESTING, HUH?

DAVE: exactly like

DAVE: its so crazy how do you go from politically microaggressing people never apologizing for it and now your policy is dirk

DAVE: fuckin dirk warrior

DAVE: shut the hell up

KARKAT: DAVE, CHILL OUT.

DAVE: what

DAVE: you love talking shit on jane

KARKAT: I KNOW BUT IT'S NOT RIGHT OF YOU TO MAKE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN SOOTHING YOUR INDIGNANCE AND GETTING US TO MOVIE NIGHT ON TIME.

DAVE: i wont lie

DAVE: hitting all these emotional beats with you

DAVE: its got me all rumbly in my tumbly

DAVE: lets just cancel

DAVE: jake will have such a good time laughing at adam sandler antics he wont even realize we arent there

KARKAT: WE CAN HOLD HANDS DURING THE MOVIE.

DAVE: can we do a little footsie

KARKAT: HANDS AND FEET, HUH?

KARKAT: IF WE MAKE IT ON TIME I MIGHT JUST LET YOU CASH IN ON THAT YOU NASTY MAN.

DAVE: well

DAVE: about that

KARKAT: NO...

DAVE: im sorry to break it to you

KARKAT: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

KARKAT: YOU'RE JOKING.

DAVE: its over

KARKAT: IT CANT BE OVER.

KARKAT: *FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK*!

DAVE: damn

DAVE: its ok baby

DAVE: its 10 minutes and 8 seconds

DAVE: we can even travel back if you want that would be an easy loop

KARKAT: *YOU* WANT TO TIME TRAVEL?

DAVE: no

DAVE: but ill do it for you

KARKAT: NO!

KARKAT: HELL FUCKING *NO*!

KARKAT: GOD DAMMIT, DUDE.

KARKAT: GET UP, WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE. WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW!

DAVE: honestly i think im good man

DAVE: truthfully i cant get up right now

DAVE: because in some ways i already am

KARKAT: DAVE, NO...

DAVE: i told you you believe in me too much

KARKAT: WILL IT AWAY!

DAVE: im trying

KARKAT: DAVE, NOW ALL I'M GOING TO THINK ABOUT DURING THE WHOLE MOVIE IS YOUR BIG *STUPID* PENIS!

DAVE: dont do that

DAVE: you dont need to be having penis thoughts next to jake

DAVE: let me just meet up with you later

KARKAT: THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!!!!

DAVE: ok fine ill wait for you to get back

DAVE: i do kind of prefer that

DAVE: the delightful tingle of my blue blue balls

KARKAT: YOU MONSTER. YOU INCUBUS.

KARKAT: I CANT DEAL WITH THIS SHIT, I HAVE TO GO, LIKE I REALLY REALLY DO HAVE TO LEAVE!

DAVE: ok ill just be sitting here