==>

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

DAVE: so uh

DAVE: like i said i talked to kan about it some

DAVE: and its not like weve not talked about it either but i dunno

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them

DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out

DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok

DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

DAVE: and then if i think about either of them then its only a matter of time til i have to think about dirk too

DAVE: its an if you give a mouse a cookie situation but instead of more snacks its just another layer of fear about my loved ones

DAVE: and with dirk its

DAVE: whew

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time

DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

DAVE: like if wed kept up better maybe there woulda been a point along the line where i could have said the right thing somehow and hed idk

DAVE: not stolen rose away on some nightmare family trip

DAVE: forcing us to accept the fact that hes our enemy now and chase after him for an unreasonably indeterminate number of years

DAVE: also like

DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but

DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down

DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that

DAVE: i just

DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i

DAVE: ugh

DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

KARKAT: IS THAT ALL? I'M POISED ON THE PRECIPICE OF REASSURANCE WITH MY COUNTER-RANT LOCKED AND LOADED BUT IT FEELS LIKE YOU'VE GOT MORE SHIT YOU'RE HOLDING BACK ON.

DAVE: yeah i got another thing

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

DAVE: ok fuck its just

DAVE: ...

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take

DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up

DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that

DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine

DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable

DAVE: but well survive it

KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON.

DAVE: but you

KARKAT: DAVE.

DAVE: no lemme say this

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it

DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered

DAVE: come up with some kind of plan

DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it

DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now

DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die