(==>)

JAKE: Hes been cured since he was thirteen!

JANE: How????

JAKE: Gamzee.

JAKE: Via some vile cosmic caper or another it is *always* gamzee!

JAKE: He found out!

JAKE: Started rambling on and on about "how motherfuckin' malicious" it was to see "A dIfFeReNtLy AbLeD bRoThEr MiSsIn' OuT oN tHe NiRvAnA oF tHaT nUtTy MoThErFuCkIn' NeCtAr."

DIRK: (Why are you doing the voice?)

JAKE: "ThErE's WhOlEsOmE, hOlIsTiC hEaLiNg PrOpErTiEs AlL uP aNd StUfFeD iNtO tHe HaRmOnIoUs UnIoN oF pB aNd J."

DIRK: (You don't need to do the voice.)

JAKE: "WhAt EvEn Is ThIs SuLtRy BiTcH oF a LiFe WiThOuT a LiTtLe PeAnUt BuTtEr JeLlY tImE?"

DIRK: (It'd be so sick if you stopped doing the voice.)

JAKE: Then he pulled the "OuR dUtY aS sTrOnG mAlE mOtHeRfUcKiN' mOdElS iS tO nUrTuRe AnD gUiDe ThAt LoSt LiTtLe LeGuMe-InToLeRaNt LaMb," card.

JAKE: "We StRaIgHt Up GoT tO bE tHe ChAnGe WhAt AlL nObOdY eLsE eVeR gOt DoWn To BeInG iN tHe WoRlD, fOr ThE lItTlE nEgLeCtEd NuGgEtS *wE* aLl WaS."

DIRK: (Fuck me, then.)

JANE: He always felt you two had a common tragic upbringing.

JAKE: I know...

JAKE: After that, the insane clown started stowing peanuts around the mansion, tricking little tavvy into eating them!

JAKE: Poor squirt was thrashing throat-first into anaphylactic shock bi-weekly.

JAKE: I epipenned him so many times, i learned needlekind!

JAKE: Worried myself as sick as our boy was, just wishing that nutty nightmare would nix.

JAKE: Then, wham.

JAKE: It did!

JAKE: Thank god!

JANE: I-

JANE: I had no idea.

JAKE: Of course you didnt!

JAKE: You werent there!

JAKE: You might have expelled him into existence with your easy-bake tuna canoe.

JAKE: But i kept him alive!

JAKE: I raised him!

JAKE: Nelsons knickers, half the time it feels like "uncle" fucking gamzee had more hand in his upbringing than you did!

JANE: Oh... my...

JANE: I never... took a second to stop and think...

JANE: I don't remember when he took his first steps.

JANE: Or what his favorite food is.

JANE: I didn't even fucking breast feed him!

DIRK: (Which is fucking crazy, all things considered.)

JANE: I don't... even know what his first word was.

JAKE: It was "honk."

JANE: Jesus Christ.