You’re nobody now. Just a shadow.
Dirk was right to leave. He would have hated this existence.
Ah, well.
All tension has left your body, at this point. You don’t retreat to the heart of the ship; you have somewhere to be, so you set off, moving not towards a definitive point on the horizon but in cadence with a song that dances on the periphery of your awareness. You heard its first few tentative notes years ago. A subtle ‘ding’ when your ecto-father died. A little ‘dong’ when your wife handed you your daughter. A clear ‘ting’ when an old friend asked you for her first and only favor.
Over time, and especially within the past few days, these scattered sounds have woven together into a compelling melody. It helps you drown out the noise of war and focus, taking you back to times when there was destiny and indignation and righteous fury. A colorful cat-squid princess, advising a young girl to “play the rain.” She wanted so much, always needing to be seen, desperate to fight for some shred of validation. Only to never appreciate what was already in front of her.
Thankfully, you aren’t her anymore. You don’t owe her anything either. You are unbound to that person completely. Defunct.
As above, so below.