You'll turn around when you damn well feel like it. You're busy practicing your WINNING SMILE; it takes incomprehensible precision to tilt one's mouth just so.
There's no denying what a chill, easygoing guy you are. Just look at those aristocratic shades...
Perfection.
As previously mentioned, you are a member of a trimorphic species of equine muscle-men known as SATYRS - a MONOCORN, to be exact. You are nearly 8 LUNAR LAPS old, a measure of time that, if one was forced to compare it to some other hypothetical and certainly inferior chronological standard, would equate to 16 EARTH YEARS old. Not that you know what the fuck an "EARTH YEAR" is, nor do you care to know. They sound almost as stupid and unwieldy as TIDAL TURNS.
You have a variety of INTERESTS, carefully cultivated over the laps to ensure your development into an unimpeachably fine young man. First and foremost amongst these interests is the ACQUISITION AND SUBSEQUENT WIELDING OF POWER; you are a natural POLITRICIAN. It's like if a politician was a patrician. One of the many benefits of your savvy maneuvering is your coveted role as COHORT CAPTAIN of the illustrious HONEYFALL GYMNASIKKOU's 4005th cohort.
You are also interested in the ACQUISITION AND SUBSEQUENT WIELDING OF BLADES. The blade is, after all, a kingly weapon. Not that satyrs have had kings in a very, very long time, but still. If it didn't fly in the face of your entire society's meritocratic democracy, you might even consider reluctantly carrying the burden of monocratic rule. Though, of course, you never would. You'll gladly settle for the esteemed position of GRAND PRANCELLOR and take your rightful place at the head of the Senate, when your time comes.
After all, that kind of power is best shared with friends.
Speaking of friends, you have a small but dear inner circle of them who have been COMPLETELY IGNORING YOU for the past few hours. You have been using a complex and mystically enhanced chat client called HAZR to try and get in touch with them, but to no avail. Your hazetag is agamemnonsTheory, and you speak DEFINITIVELY, to EMPHASIZE your AUTHORITY.
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