Swiss: Message CT.

AT: T.

AT: Status report.

AT: I'll start: NOT HAPPY.

AT: Bobo is pulling that enigmatic absent prodigy act.

AT: AGAIN.

AT: Which is WHATEVER, what's new? Of course Mr. GENIUS of our GENERATION is a busy guy, and I RESPECT busy.

AT: But to set a DATE, only to leave us HANGING, HYPED up and out to DRY?

AT: I had PLANS today!

AT: I'm MISSING a cohort council meeting.

AT: So OBVIOUSLY I whip out my telescope and WHAT do I SEE?

AT: They're ALL SLEEPING!

AT: Which could mean only one of two things; they've taken my absence as an OPPORTUNITY to be LAYABOUTS or, WORSE, I may have missed a RAGER last night.

AT: MISSED.

AT: A.

AT: RAGER.

AT: My attendance might be FUCKED.

AT: Oh, GOD.

AT: I am BARELY hanging on here, DUDE.

AT: I need GOOD NEWS.

AT: I need TIDINGS, man, GLAD ONES.

AT: And MORE than that, I need my other BEST mudderfucking FRIEND.

CT: well be in good spirits then best brother, for the one you choose to call on is right fucking here

CT: and his hardened forelimbs throb in anticipation as they prepare to lift you from your duress

CT: squeezing the life out of all those ill vibes until only delicious pressure remains

CT: you can feel it cant you?

AT: Yes... I FEEL it, dude.

CT: *The Mountain pulls Swiss to his bosom, nurturing his soul with the kind of spiritual sustenance only a hard-bodded BROTHER ever could. Anterior deltoids twitch back into the monolith slabs of his lats as their crushing closeness is locked in. It is a bond between warriors, a bulging, muscular link in the chain of their legacy.*

AT: You just brought a TEAR to my damn EYE, man!

AT: THIS is what I'm TALKING about! You sound READY and RARING to go, my SWEET boy.

CT: *The Mountain gives a hearty chuckle, flashing an easy, cocksure smile.*

CT: huhuhuhu

CT: of course

CT: the mountain has been readying himself all morning to kick the fuck out of his many responsibilities

CT: no stone left unturned in his quest for utter preparatory perfection

CT: the little creepy crawly bugs that scurry to and fro in his wake are a testament to his diligence

CT: see them scurry swiss

CT: hear the chorus of their tiny voices as they cry the truth for all to hear:

CT: the beast is primed for greatness this day

AT: The RELIEF that just WASHED over me right now.

AT: Even if I didn't understand almost any of that.

AT: You NEVER disappoint, man.

CT: damn right and the good news just keeps coming

CT: whats this? a little surprise the mountains been waiting to show you?

AT: HohoHOH?

CT: are YOU READY to spare a gander at a WORK of ART?

AT: More than you KNOW, kiddo.

AT: Let me GUESS, does it have something to do with the game?

CT: game?

CT: what game?

AT: What do you mean, WHAT GAME?

AT: The game we've been WAITING all day to PLAY!

CT: *He tilts his head, ears flicking inquisitively.*

AT: SHURB?

CT: oh that thing

CT: the mountains not doing that

AT: What? Yes you ARE.

AT: You're IN the MOD CHAT.

CT: hey

CT: if a cameraderous knockama sends you a link

CT: you link up bruh

CT: no questions asked

CT: no hesitation

CT: thats just common fucking manners

AT: YOU of all bucks should NOT be lecturing ME about ETIQUETTE, okay?

AT: For instance, RULE NUMBER 1, NEVER abandon the boys.

AT: And guess who's feeling PRETTY left out in the COLD right about now?

CT: dude shut up

CT: believe it or not the mountain has his arrangements preordained with zero wiggle room for your whims

CT: youll have to get over it

AT: All you DO is work out!

AT: I should KNOW, I WROTE half your ROUTINES!

AT: But literally the only OTHER plans I can CONCEIVE of you having is some truly UNSANCTIONED activity.

AT: Like playing your DISGUSTING teen-pregnancy simulators with that PERVERT again.

CT: the mountain already told you brother its just a normal roleplay all the characters are 9+!

AT: And I told you you're a MINOR, you have no business doing that ILLICIT CRAP with some 30 LAP SKEEZE off the internet.

CT: dagger is NOT a skeeze, brother

CT: dagger is a UNIQUE SOUL and a POET

AT: Except you can't PROVE that because he REFUSES to show PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF HIS PROBABLY SHIT NASTY ASS FACE, which you accept WITHOUT EXPLANATION.

AT: Also DAGGER is the fakest name I've EVER HEARD.

CT: *The roguish warrior scoffs at such petty grappling, your chosen instruments of "logic" and "suspicion" wilting in the face of his own indomitable bond.*

CT: anyways its not like you havent talked to him yourself

AT: Uh, I THINK I'd remember meeting a FREAK of that caliber.

CT: hes in the modchat

CT: CC

AT: Oh.

AT: I see.

CT: hey what are you doing STOP THAT

CT: THE MOUNTAIN COMMANDS YOU STOP BANNING HIS FRIEND FROM CHAT IMMEDIATELY

AT: HOW the HELL does he keep getting back IN?

CT: YOU ARE SO STUPID

AT: T, you need to realize the GRAVITY of this situation.

AT: We have a CHILD PREDATOR in the hentaurhouse.

AT: This HAS to be RECTIFIED before he starts spamming us snapshots of his crusty old SHEATHE.

CT: grrrrrr

CT: tell the mountain, did your horn grow from the back of your skull through your brain parts?

CT: what other excuse could you even have for this display of hysteria

CT: look at the calendar numbnuts

CT: its coachs visiting day same day as it has always been

CT: the mountain is going to do awesome martial arts and a thousand crunches and thats that period

AT: MAN.

AT: I do not even want to HEAR about that HACK.

AT: What kind of mentor shows up the day AFTER his kouhai's BIRTHDAY? The LACK of CARE... it's enough to make a man SICK.

AT: Always ignoring your nutritional NEEDS, never asking about your LEVELS.

AT: Your MACROS.

AT: Fucking CHUFF.

AT: You don't NEED to worry about HIM today, you need to play this damn computer game with me.

CT: you always do this

CT: dogging on the mountains master, dogging on his blood brother

CT: and then turning around asking for favors

AT: T, I will ALWAYS protect you from some superannuated STRANGER, especially one obviously LYING TO YOUR FACE ONLINE.

AT: If that's DOGGING?

AT: SO BE IT.

AT: I won't ALLOW something bad happen to you because of your CONTRIVED IGNORANCE.

CT: huuuuuuuuuu... *The insane murderer chuckles darkly.*

CT: you are inspiring these muscles to do some kind of terrible violence bruh

CT: how would you feel if the mountain let someone talk this kind of shit on you?

AT: YAWN. As if a man of MY stature need concern himself with the fumbling barbs of lesser LOSERS.

CT: even if it was someone from within your inner circle?

CT: one of your most respected bestular bros?

AT: T... are you implying something?

AT: Has Bobo been messaging you while IGNORING my MISSIVES?

CT: that would be so delicious wouldnt it

CT: what whispers might he murmur, the mountain wonders

CT: maybe this whole computer game was only ever a hoax

CT: a test to measure your character

CT: to see if youd abandon all your hard earned responsibility in pursuit of frivolous games

AT: No.

AT: STOP IT.

CT: a test that you FAILED!!!!!

CT: YOU FOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AT: I'VE NEVER FAILED A TEST IN MY FUCKING LIFE!

AT: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

CT: FOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

AT: SILENCE, FUCKHOLE!

AT: <==]-

CT: HA HA HA HA HA HA

AT: You'll rue this insubordination.

AT: You. Will. Rue.

CT: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

CT: wait

CT: mountain forgot

CT: did you still want to see your surprise?

AT: THE RUING BEGINS NOW.

AT: FUCK.

AT: YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CT: sweet paternum