==>

DAVE: trust were not missing much at all

DAVE: also

DAVE: you got 4 minutes and 25 seconds

KARKAT: CRAP.

KARKAT: WE SHOULD START GETTING READY.

DAVE: i guess

DAVE: ergh

KARKAT: ... LISTEN, DUDE, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO SAY, IF HANGING OUT WITH HIM IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU IT'S OK. I DON'T EXPECT US TO ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE THE SAME FRIENDS.

DAVE: wait time out

DAVE: im fine with hanging out with jake

DAVE: i have no issues with jake

DAVE: hes a person and he exists in the world

DAVE: i accept that

KARKAT: DAVE IT'S OK, SOME PEOPLE DON'T CLICK!

KARKAT: I'LL BE THE FIRST PERSON TO ADMIT JAKE IS NOT THE EASIEST PERSON TO BE AROUND.

KARKAT: ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW WHEN HE'S HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME.

KARKAT: IT'S *NOT* A BIG DEAL!

DAVE: i completely agree dude

DAVE: if it was a deal at all

DAVE: which it isnt

KARKAT: FINE, FINE, I'M TOTALLY BLOWING THINGS OUT OF PROPORTION WITH MY HYSTERICAL FAKE EMPATHY AND YOUR EYEBROWS BEING IN YOUR HAIRLINE RIGHT NOW IS NO INDICATION OF CERTAIN BUBBLING SENTIMENTS UNSAID.

DAVE: my eyebrows are in a very neutral place on my face

KARKAT: OF COURSE THEY ARE, YOU DON'T LOOK FUMING OUT OF YOUR PAN AT ALL. ALL TIGHT JAWED AND FINGERS FIDGETING.

DAVE: ok dangerous territory dude

DAVE: but yes ive pointed out a few moments jake has seemed unhinged

DAVE: and ok

DAVE: sharing a bathroom with him has been way too psychologically revealing because said dude is talking to himself in the mirror like patrick bateman and fucking scaring innocent people in the middle of the night

DAVE: but thats none of my business

KARKAT: THE WAY WE HOG THAT BATHROOM WE ARE FAR FROM INNOCENT.

KARKAT: POOR BASTARD.

KARKAT: IT'S NOT HIS FAULT. IMAGINE IF YOU SPENT YOUR ENTIRE YOUNG ADULT LIFE OBSESSING OVER ONE GUY, AND THAT GUY WAS **DIRK**?

DAVE: right

KARKAT: IT FEELS LIKE THE CLOSER WE GET TO DIRK THE MORE THESE EPISODES ARE HAPPENING.

DAVE: sounds like a convenient excuse for putting you in a hospital bed twice

KARKAT: SO EVERYONE STARTS DOING CRINGY CARTOON DANCES AND THEN HAS NO MEMORY OF IT SIMPLY BECAUSE.

DAVE: idk i still dont buy that was him

DAVE: weve all been going a bit stir crazy cooped up in this eyesearingly green hunk of shit ship we are trapped in

DAVE: if he was taking the reins back i doubt itd be for some inconsequential weeby sideshow like that

DAVE: next time he does nefarious tech deck tricks in anyones brain itll probably be mine

DAVE: jakes just homegrown grassfed batshit

KARKAT: CONSIDERING WE'RE ABOUT TO GO TOE TO TOE WITH HIS TRAUMA DOM I THINK HE'S BEING AN ACCEPTABLE AMOUNT OF STRANGE.

KARKAT: HE'S JUST STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF UNPACKING IT ALL.

DAVE: point taken and that is exactly why i dont hate him

DAVE: if anyone is being a weird ass hater its callie

KARKAT: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

DAVE: karkat

DAVE: they wrote me committing suicide by obama