JOHN: fake? what do you mean?

VRISKA: This universe! Haha! It's a fake! Fakey fake fake.

JOHN: you can say fake as many times as you want, i still won't know what you mean!

VRISKA: Pleeeeeeeease don't tell me none of you have noticed!

VRISKA: This whole universe is like someone's shitty RP, and everyone's out of character! None of this reads!

VRISKA: Like, who the FUCK is Yiffy!!!!!!!! Why should I or anyone CARE????????

JOHN: i mean

JOHN: i don't really get it either, but i had this long talk with roxy, and that feels relevant to this?

VRISKA: Yuck, don't even want to think a8out that whole mess.

VRISKA: What were you two even thinking with that, 8y the way? What was setting sail on that dingy schooner of a relationship ever going to accomplish?

JOHN: don't call my marriage a dingy schooner! it was a completely reasonably sized ship!

JOHN: we had our reasons!

JOHN: i am pretty sure!

VRISKA: Yeah, you sound super sure a8out all of this.

VRISKA: Making up pro8lems to have pro8lems!

VRISKA: So lame.

JOHN: it does sound... kind of bad.

JOHN: but that doesn't mean it's fake!

VRISKA: Come oooooooon!

VRISKA: Do you honestly think I spent all that time commanding a kickass ghost army to not know a haplessly doomed little world when I see one?

VRISKA: I can practically smell it on you!

JOHN: hey, not this again!

JOHN: i smell completely normal!

JOHN: my odor is well within "real john" standards thank you very much.

VRISKA: This is exactly what I'm talking a8out. No8ody real would say that.

VRISKA: You're like a sadder, less interesting version of a guy I kind of liked talking to. When was the last time you did........ anything?

JOHN: i get around. i've been talking to people. i just talked to a new guy on the way.

VRISKA: Snore!

VRISKA: What happened to the guy that punched me in the face?

JOHN: that guy is right here, he's still me!

JOHN: ok, wait, that makes me sound way too proud of myself.

VRISKA: It was like the 8est thing you've ever done!

JOHN: it was not! you're just weird!!!

JOHN: anyway what i am saying is, this is just how it's been for a while?

VRISKA: Surely you can see that's a pro8lem? 8e serious.

JOHN: i am serious! and don't call me shirley.


JOHN: (hehe.)

JOHN: it is true though, everything did feel pretty... pointless for a long time. and it would bother me SO MUCH!

JOHN: when i was living by myself i would consider where to go next. except there was no "next." nothing was worth trying for anymore.

JOHN: but harry is. he's real!

VRISKA: ::::/

VRISKA: As real as a guy can get, stuck here.

JOHN: what, like he could be magically more real???

JOHN: load him up in some silly circus cannon and blast him out of the mirror verse!

JOHN: hahahahaha

JOHN: actually you might think this is kind of funny!

JOHN: a long time ago i was supposed to go back and defea-


VRISKA: Your ecto-human-guardian-si8ling or whatever is pro8a8ly sending a squad of 8ozos to apprehend your ex as we speak. So I say the less we talk and the sooner we 8low this gru8sickle stand, the sooner we can get there 8efore we lose access to our shortcut.

JOHN: yeah when you spell it all out like that i can see what y-

JOHN: wait, WHAT!!!

JOHN: why didn't you just say that earlier?!

VRISKA: John. That's what I've 8een doing this whole time!

VRISKA: Now, c'mon! Race you there!!!!!!!!